I worked overtime to be anything but this woman, and it was exhausting and unsustainable and even harder than simply embracing who I am. For so long I told myself I was not this woman - utterly human and flawed. Really, though, I'm a woman in her 30’s, struggling to accept herself and her credit score. I am supposed to be a good feminist who is having it all, doing it all.
Because I have so many deeply held opinions about gender equality, I feel a lot of pressure to live up to certain ideals. My success, such as it is, is supposed to be enough if I'm a good feminist. This kind of thinking keeps me up at night, but I pretend it doesn't because I am supposed to be evolved. I worry about dying alone, unmarried and childless, because I spent so much time pursuing my career and accumulating degrees.
Gay also co-hosts the podcast Hear to Slay, pens the Work Friend column for The New York Times and was the first black woman to write for Marvel Comics. I am willing to make certain compromises (not sacrifices) in order to do so - namely, maternity leave and slowing down at work to spend more time with my child, writing less, so I can be more present in my life. Roxane Gay brilliantly critiques the ebb and flow of modern culture with wit and ferocity.
